and yet I survived

I was just attacked by a large jumping insect. It looked like a combination between a cockroach and a cricket. It must have been a loco Vegas hybrid. It had huge antennae, about 2 inches long. I realize that I should have snapped a picture so that this new species could be identified by bug scientists, but in the heat of battle there is little time for a photo shoot. The sneaky little devil was hiding in the folds of the hand towel in the bathroom, and when I went to dry my hands, that's when he sprang toward me. Clearly an experienced assassin, he went straight for the throat. But little did he know that I also had a weapon - my high-pitched shrieking and flailing of limbs frightened him into retreat. Like a true coward, he tried to hide, but he could not escape the trap of the tupperware that awaited him. I captured this intruder and sent him to a watery grave down the toilet. Experience has taught me that sometimes the vilest of creepy insects have an advantage over the surface tension of the water, so I saw to it that he was covered by a blanket of toilet paper to crush that advantage. Genious, I know! My only regret is that he did not live to tell his friends about the certain destruction that awaits if they ever try a stunt like that again.

Some friends are demanding

Some friends are demanding. Take my friend Jessi, for example. We were roommates for years, and yet to my amazement I do not make her "blogs I heart" list. Heartbroken was I. And so, to save the friendship, I struck a deal: If I display a picture of her on MY blog, she adds MY blog to HER list. Like I said... demanding.

That's Jessi there on the left. Although instructed by the photographer to be a love tiger, she instead went for the rattlesnake move, (certainly stolen from the dark-haired twin of Bette Midler in that one movie where they're twins... anyone know the reference or the movie? It's late and I can't think of it and I don't care to look it up.) Regardless of her modeling abilities, I still think this shot captures the essence of Jessi. And I think we can all agree that Shanna wins the prize for best love tiger.

Now a behind the scenes explanation of the picture. Once upon a time a couple of winters ago, my blonde roommates and I went to a party at this house with the colorful walls. The owner of this bed instructed us not to go into his room under any circumstances. He was embarrassed that it was dirty, with good reason, I might add. It was dirty. For this reason, this particular UofU med student with the intials DD will not be named. And so the photo shoot and pillow fight that followed is how we entertained ourselves once he left us alone near his bedroom door. We showed him the pictures later. That was a great party.