and yet I survived

I was just attacked by a large jumping insect. It looked like a combination between a cockroach and a cricket. It must have been a loco Vegas hybrid. It had huge antennae, about 2 inches long. I realize that I should have snapped a picture so that this new species could be identified by bug scientists, but in the heat of battle there is little time for a photo shoot. The sneaky little devil was hiding in the folds of the hand towel in the bathroom, and when I went to dry my hands, that's when he sprang toward me. Clearly an experienced assassin, he went straight for the throat. But little did he know that I also had a weapon - my high-pitched shrieking and flailing of limbs frightened him into retreat. Like a true coward, he tried to hide, but he could not escape the trap of the tupperware that awaited him. I captured this intruder and sent him to a watery grave down the toilet. Experience has taught me that sometimes the vilest of creepy insects have an advantage over the surface tension of the water, so I saw to it that he was covered by a blanket of toilet paper to crush that advantage. Genious, I know! My only regret is that he did not live to tell his friends about the certain destruction that awaits if they ever try a stunt like that again.