Saturday, November 21, 2009

my life is average

It's 2AM on a Friday night and I've been sitting on the couch alone in the basement while my husband sleeps, giggling aloud to myself for the last half hour thanks to this website. MLIA.

MLIA = my life is average.

A "few" choice exerpts:

Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold. MLIA

Today I was having an argument in the car with my mum which resulted in me crying. In an attempt to hide it, I faced the window and began to cry silently. While stopped at a light I looked into the car next to us and the man frowned, breathed onto his window and drew a smiley face. Thank you. MLIA

Today, I decided to tan on the balcony. I took my top off and my neighbor came out and saw me. He's a guy. So am I. We greeted each other. MyLifeIsAverage.

Today, I was walking to class a little bit behind my 80 year old professor. He suddenly swerved to the left about five feet and JUMPED on an especially crunchy looking leaf. I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that. MLIA

Last night, I was really hot in bed, so I took one leg out of the covers. Then I got scared because it was too dark and my leg felt unprotected from somthing hiding under my bed. So I put it back under the blankets. MLIA

A fortnight ago I finally solved my rubiks cube. I waited two weeks to post this so that I could use the word fortnight.

Today, I wore Axe body spray. I wasn't tackled by any women. MLIA.

Today at school I leaned back in my chair and it made a farting noise. I casually did it again so everybody would know it was the chair. MLIA

Today, my parents asked me why I just unwrap, peel down, and leave the wrapper of the lollipop on the stick. I told them it's so I can just throw them away together. My real reason is that it looks like the lollipop is wearing a cape. MLIA

I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA

Today I won a million dollars, but I closed out of the pop-up anyway. MLIA

Today I realized that my daughters have bigger boobs than me. It's okay though because I'm their Dad. MLIA.

Today, I met a girl named Unique. She has an identical twin sister. No one else thought it was funny. MLIA.

Today, I filled a Windex bottle with blue Gatorade. I then sprayed it into my mouth in front of my mother. She began to panic and scream and get hysterical. I thought it was funny. She didn't. MLIA My new friend.

Friday, November 13, 2009

can you find Rhett?

So I was out in the yard with Rhett and decided I really wanted to take a picture of some of the leaves changing in the yard. I loved the contrast of this bright red bush next to the completely yellow tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah - it's pretty and all. I agree.
But let's spice it up a little, shall we? See if you can find Rhett hiding in the picture.

Look closely.

And a little closer...

My random boy. Gosh I love him.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


Happy Halloween!

Emma, me, & Anne (a couple of my darling Beehives!)

And the always gorgeous Buttars sisters - Brooke & Olivia!

And then there's my little bro Josh, aka HEED, who never disappoints. Well done Heed.
Rhett's costume was uber-creative: all black with a black mask. He hides in the bushes every year with a chain-less chainsaw and tries to make the kiddies pee their pants.

And finally, instead of carving pumpkins this year, I made this little pumpkin trio for my friend Holly for her October birthday. I saw them in a magazine and tried to copy it. You can't tell because of the shine, but the black one has silver accents around the top. Just one baby step closer to becoming a domestic female.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

hold the carrots

I've reached a milestone in my life.

I was asked to bring a jello+fruit salad with Cool Whip on top to a funeral luncheon at the church. Granted, I had to actually read the directions on the box to see how to make Jello, but at the end of the day - mission accomplished. I also doubled up on the Cool Whip on top because it felt like the right thing to do. I had to follow my heart.

Given this accomplishment, I really feel like I'm coming into my own as an adult Mormon woman.

It's fine if you feel inclined to congratulate me. I'd really appreciate a welcome-to-the-club, ya know? I mean, this is a pretty big deal.